beach

I have not been blogging for awhile because I have been 1. Busy 2. Didn’t feel I had much to share at the moment 3. I went through an awesome inner healing class…

I have been asking God to bring restoration of the heart. So God in His perfect way started the journey last year with starting me on the Beatitudes in Matthew 5. I want to walk in the Sermon of the Mount, not just have it be theory or something only people like Heidi Baker and Mother Theresa can do. The journey in which the Lord was taking me through, was one that I had to learn that it is not a quick fix it done after I throw my heart in the microwave process. “It’s about the journey” was the theme and the now instilled saying in my walk with God. This doesn’t mean I was never healed, heck yeah I was. Lies of the enemy I believed about God such as Who he is- What He sees in me-His thoughts of me and He doesn’t care. Removing these roots of bitterness, anger and negative thinking is a freeing and first step to inner healing.

By me removing the roots in my life that were door ways for the enemy to come in to my life. As I closed those doors and allowed healing to wounds in my life, God was begging to purify my heart.

I am not one to be all about going through some group function and share all my laundry to people I don’t know. But I did after many confirmations that God wanted me the group. The class if you want to call it that is called “Pure Heart Restoration of the Heart Through the Beatitudes” Tom and Donna Cole wrote the book under the same name the class.

Even before the class I read the book by Heidi Baker ” Compelled by Love” each chapter was a Beatitude. So that was another sign for me.

As the Lord revealed to me areas in my life I needed healing in areas we don’t think sometimes…Mother Wounds- Father Wounds.

I also learned I needed to forgive myself as well as true femininity and masculinity. Confession was fun!!!lol…

God was also pointed out that I kept wanting to give Him sacrifices and He said to me “I want your heart”

My leader of the group asked what we wanted out of the program…I said “I want to see what God sees in me”

That my friends, was really hard for me. I for so long have only seen the worlds view of me…A performer a loud and sarcastic person. Amongst other things. I really hated myself in turn means I hated God cause I am made in His image. Talents and gifts God has given to me have been perverted and or taken for granted. I now see myself under Gods eyes, how He created me to be and the gifts he has given me are now being used for the building of the kingdom.

I still find myself wanting to rush the process, wanting to finish and move on…But then I remember its a all about the Journey